It's been awhile since I've blogged anything. Part of it is because of shit like this. Now, before you think I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and champion female drinkers, I'm not. And what I'm about to write is most likely not going to be popular at all but here it goes:
Get. Over. It. Already!
The constant harping over insults intentionally or unintentionally hurled at our female compatriots is tiresome. It is a perfect example of how craft beer, something I love (loved?) is being way over-thought. Hyper-scrutiny, hyper-vigilance is, quite frankly, killing the fun of the thing. Though this is clearly just my opinion, I think you know I'm right and that I'm not alone. That being said:
Not all women like sweet and fruity drinks. And it would be wrong and insulting to pigeonhole a female patron in this way. However, A LOT of female drinkers do like fruity and sweet drinks.It's true. It's so true.
Wine Coolers? Mike's Hard Lemonade? Wine Spritzers? White Russians? Cosmos? All predominantly the realm of women drinkers.
Now, of course, I know women who prefer the saltiness and potency of a double Bloody Mary, who like their bourbon neat and will go bottle-to-lips with Tequila but they are not the mainstream norm. That is to say, marketing exists and works.
Look! A woman has written an article about marketing to women!
And look! Here's another one!
There is science and history and research and a whole lotta magic involved, kiddies!
Marketing works whatever the target: children, the elderly, parents, single people, the affluent.
That being said, marketing does not work for everybody. Just as you cannot please all people all of time, you also cannot capture your entire demographic. But you can get most of them.
For example, Budweiser commercials are in no way going to take a hold of craft beer drinkers. What? But many craft beer drinkers (young men) are precisely in Budweiser's demographic! Yes yet no. Bud is about moving volume and for that, they want folks who don't know or don't care about what beer really could taste like. You've all seen the commercials. They want to be the Everyman's (Everywoman's?) choice for the beach, boating, ball games, and barbeques. They want people who just want something to drink during those activities. Though craft beer drinkers engage in those activities also, we are still a niche that BMC can't appeal to (though they are making attempts to do so with Blue Moon, Third Shift, Leinenkugel, to name just a few). But the main push for BMC is the legion of YoBros who frankly couldn't give two shits about lagers vs. ales or hop additions.
Marketing is aiming for center mass. Yes, that's a gun shooting reference. Or should I not use that because that's terribly non-PC as well? But it's an apt analogy. Marketing is not going for a head shot or trying to pick off a hand like in a Spaghetti Western. They want to hit the easiest target.
So, back to marketing targeting women:
Who do you see in yogurt commercials? Who did you see in Sketchers' Shape-Up sneaker? Why are there beautiful, toned women in liposuction and plastic surgery ads? It's not because you can't have a yogurt-eating guy who wants a better butt and a little nip-and-tuck, because you certainly can. But because the main target, the group that they have found this is most appealing to is... women.
Is that to say marketing can't go awry and that it can't be misguided, despicably motivated and even offensive? Certainly not. There's Joe Camel, a cartoonish image that anti-smoking activists claim specifically targets children. Burger King used Mary J. Blige to promote fried chicken, The Truth commercials shed light on Big Tobacco's marketing strategy towards "uneducated, urban, African Americans". Marketing, like any tool, can be used for the wrong reasons and/or wielded improperly, even dangerously.
But it exists.
You cannot say women are not different than men. You cannot say women's tastes run differently than men. They can. You cannot say that we are all the same and that marketing towards women is, in and of itself, erroneous. It ain't.
But here's where you'll see that I'm on your side. Really. I swear.
Though marketing has shown that most women like fruity, sweet drinks, craft beer, as a culture, should recognize that this is not the case for women who are into craft beer. Their tastes have proven to be more adventuresome and sophisticated than their Sisters of Center Mass. Much as BMC cannot do anything to appeal to existing craft beer drinkers, so does the marketing not necessarily fly for Women of Craft Beer. It would unfair to assume that a blueberry ale will appeal to all women trundling past your pour station at the next beer-fest. It would be as egregious and insulting as me, being of Asian descent, sitting at a steak house and being presented with chopsticks.
Similarly, brewers should understand that, if they want to appeal to craft beer drinkers, their labels should exhibit a modicum of decency. As Karl pointed out in the Brewer's Association Marketing and Advertising Code, it would seem that the label that spawned this latest flap is in direct contradiction to this. However this is where I feel compelled to tell people (and this is where you will hate me again, I'm sure) to lighten up!
Though the @PigMindsBrewing label clearly shows a "cause and effect" (drink this beer so you'll drop your panties for me!) I can't help but laugh at it.
I've heard (and used) the term "panty dropper" for things not involving alcohol. For example, "Dude, that 'Vette is a panty-dropper for sure!" Does that mean that a Corvette, arguably one of the sexiest cars made in 'Murica, causes women to lose control of themselves to the point of having intercourse (I refrain from using the word "sex" because it's so naughty that some people might get their panties in a bunch. Dammit! I didn't mean to say that. Maybe.). Of course not!
"What did you do this weekend?"
"It was our anniversary so I took her out to dinner at (insert expensive restaurant) in the City and then a carriage ride through the park in the moonlight."
"That's a panty-dropping combo for sure!"
Does that mean expensive dinners and the cruel, cruel act of being towed along by a hapless equine causes women to lose all control of their bodies?
Is the phrase "panty-dropper" crass? Sure. But does it necessarily need to be demonized to this level? And while we're at it, let's talk about the label itself. Karl writes "The knees-together implied-scared stance of the person in question."
As the kids say these days, "Really? Really? I mean... REALLY?"
One only needs to see the promos of The Rich Kids of Beverly Hills to see that the knock-kneed twisting of legs seems to be the preferred full-length selfie pose of America's youth. Kardashians, anyone? OMG! (again, as the kids say) Kourtney's knee is bent inward! She must be afraid of the camera! Or possibly Kim! How do I know about these example? Because they air on E! while my wife and I watch The Fashion Police which:
1) provides more than ample examples of non-afraid, knock-kneed poses and
2) proves that I am not a chauvinistic Man-Lout interested in football, auto-mechanics and hunting (not that there's anything wrong with that).
And since I'm feeling like being brutally honest:
1) 6% ABV isn't going to muddle anyone's mind enough to drop anything and
2) if you need to be this gimmicky, the beer is probably not good anyway.
I mean, how soft and gooey have we become as a society and as a beer culture that this is what's getting people up in arms?
Bitch Slap? Though the origins of a bitch-slap are abusive and misogynistic, my current understanding is that it has been integrated into common vernacular and simply comes to mean slapping a person, any person. What happened when the TMZ repoter tried to kiss Will Smith? He got bitch slapped! HE got bitch-slapped. Though someone did post the same clip titled, "Will Smith Backhand Pimp Slaps..." which is either more PC or possibly insulting to pimps everywhere. (What should be more insulting is the label blurb stating that bitch-slapping is the signature move of Irish-Americans).
What do we make of Clown Shoes Tramp Stamp? Or Brown Angel? What about Dark Lord? Are we to assume that the brewers at Three Floyds are Satanists? Or that the beer is offensive to Christians? Does Flying Dog's Raging Bitch escape scrutiny because of their brewery's name and because there's a dog on the label? Have we not used the term in everyday parlance and not necessarily referring to an angered, female canine?
C'mon, people. As Denis Leary once said, "Life's tough. Get a fucking helmet."
And I don't believe that craft beer "suddenly" has an issue with women. First off, I don't think there's an "issue" at all but rather the continued underlying presence of a male-dominated field. Yes, there are many more female craft beer drinkers and brewers than ever before and their ranks grow more and more each 'Fest, each beer-dinner, each and every day. But the y-chromos are still the majority and, as such, much of our basest, prurient natural instincts will manifest.
Guys will always look at boobies. Guys will always call boobies, "boobies". Guys will laugh at farts. The difference is knowing when you shouldn't look at boobies and when you shouldn't let a fart rip. (And also knowing when you might be able to get away with it.) This "controversial" label is perhaps Pig Minds letting a loud one rip in church. If I was sitting in a neighboring pew (pun intended) I might start chuckling. But I would also recognize that the move was not well-played nor would I seek to emulate that delivery myself.
Hey! Another great analogy! The guy farting in church knows it's inappropriate (barring some gastric issue) and is screaming for attention: LOOK AT ME! I'M FUNNY! I'M BALLSY! I'LL FART ANYWHERE! but really, proves himself to be awkward and unfunny. So it is with the labeling, as I had mentioned earlier. If you're trying to garner that much attention to your beer through the label, odds are that "hype" and "gimmick" are your primary ingredients. Sadly, I have the same feeling towards BrewDog. More and more and more alcohol (and I like a high ABV!), the ridiculous "arms race" with Schorschbräu, then stuffing beer into a dead squirrel? And they, for sure, make decent beer. But, because of the gimmickry, I'm not really motivated to give them much more of a go.
So my point is this:
That label, and others like it, is an unfortunate exception and is not an indicator of the overall timbre of the craft beer community. (In fact, if anything, it's a major gaffe on Pig Minds' part since they made a blueberry ale which they, I assume, are trying to market to women and then slapped on a label that would probably drive women away from their product!) If it was, how does one then explain the swelling ranks of female craft beer aficionados?
And ladies, you are different. Sure, we can do the same stuff and drink the same stuff but until the market research catches up with the blossoming trend of female craft beer drinkers, demographics will place you with your non-craft beer sisters. So if anything, work just as hard to convert them to the myriad of tastes available. Shift the tide so much that the beer hawker at the ballpark (yes, I know women like sporting events too!) and the bartender at your local McFunster's (thanks to @bourdain for the term) will know to not automatically pour a gal the nearest "lite".
And if you go to an alleged craft beer bar and the bartender tries to foist a fruity, sweet drink on you, instead of asking what you normally enjoy drinking, ask to speak to the manager. That person shouldn't be working there.
As for me, I am returning to the basics and am gonna get back to what made me love craft beer in the first place: the flavor.
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