Why, hello, Twitterfeed! Lo and behold, another article (this time from The Slate) blasting the unfortunate use of misogynistic labels for #craftbeer.
Craftbeer is sexist! Craftbeer is misogynistic! CRAFT HATES WOMEN!
I think, more accurately, craft has developed a case of severe rectal stenosis. That is, everybody is being too tight-assed about, well, everything.
In the beginning it was fun to discover that beer had the versatility to be paired with food, just like wine and, just like wine, different glasses served to accent the beer-drinking experience. But then, craft beer jumped the shark (it is Shark Week, after all!) and people started bitching (yeah, I said it) when their stout wasn't poured into the proper vessel at a T.J. McFunsters or if the temperature wasn't ideal for serving, or cellaring or shotgunning. At some point, craft beer morphed and adopted the elitist assholery of wine snobs, a group we sought to challenge, emulate and yet somehow eschew.
Then the Can Revolution began and hipsters were wagging their beards at you for pouring into something even as humble as a nonic pint. Shit got uptight. And pretty fast. But I digress. So back to the agenda-
Chicks and beer (yeah, I said it).
The whole issue of becoming vehemently offended is, to me, offensive.
Women are part of this world. I have witnessed the growth from 'fest to 'fest. Their tastes are diverse, disparate and every much as credible as their male counterparts. Female brewers excel in their craft. But to say craft beer is ALIENATING an entire sex because of a bunch of labels is alarmist at best. Do you think Carol Stoudt would have shuttered Stoudt's brewing just because she saw the PantyDropper label? More likely than not, a shot would have been fired back with the Limp Dick Doppelbock!
Tasteless? Sure. But most women I've talked to understand the coyness and tolerate the sophomoric humor. Most women get the joke. "Pantypeeler, eh? I doubt that. Let's see..." because, you see, the beer ISN'T REALLY MEANT TO PEEL OFF ANY PANTIES!! It's a joke (remember those?) about how delicious and seductive the beer is alleged to be! Beer, like sex, is supposed to MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD! Not question the socioeconomic ramifications of a patriarchal society vis-à-vis alcoholic beverage labels. (Whew! My head hurts just from writing that!)
It's about fucking around and being dumb and being relaxed. Were people morally outraged at all the "That's what she said!" jokes from The Office? The Naked Gun's "Nice beaver..." line? No.
If you find the labels that offensive, don't drink the beer. I mean, you know we're talking about a handful of labels, right? Come to think of it...
How about The Abyss? Samael? Dark Lord? Devil Dancer? My. God. Craft beer is advocating Satanism!
Sixpoint Resin, Smuttynose Finest Kind, Knee Deep's Breaking Bud? Holy petunias, mother! Craft beer is pro-Mary Jane!
This is straight up ridiculousness. And tedious. Can't anyone just have a beer anymore without over-analyzing shit? People should stop getting their panties in a bunch.
Yeah. I said it.
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