What could go wrong?

Things you should not do while drinking:

Driving.
Any type of surgery.
Online political debate.

But throwing sharp, pointy objects at a target almost 8 feet away?

That's perfectly acceptable.

In fact, some amount of inebriation is preferable when engaging in the certain games of skill found in barrooms and watering holes.  This applies to Foosball and billiards for sure but is most appreciated in darts.

Concentration is needed when attempting to hit dime-sized targets from about 8 feet away.  Yet too much focus makes you edgy, makes you grip too tight and, quite simply put, makes you choke.

There's a scene in The Last Samurai where a flustered Tom Cruise, unable to win a bout against the katana master, is advised that his mind is too aware and too full: he is thinking of the moves, of the people watching him, of all sorts of things.  He is advised to clear his mind, to be of No Mind.  Mushin.  (Cruise then winds up executing a draw.)

The proper amount of sudsy lubrication can certainly aid one in achieving this state.

It helps you chill and let instinct and nature play a more even role and balance out the technical aspects of throwing a potentially lethal object.  But there, of course, a balance.

I find that the more I drink, the better I play... to a certain point.  I then plateau and am good for maybe one more beer and then accuracy drops precipitously.  At that point, anyone in the immediate area (even those standing behind me) should make sure their affairs are in order.  Uber is a given (see above about drinking).

So go ahead!  Get loose!  Grab you some Vitamin B and achieve mushin.  So you're throwing a pointy object!  What could go wrong?

Nice Cans!

Three local Long Island craft brewers are offering their tasty brews in cans!

Photo from DubCo FB

Destination Unknown Beer Company, located in Bayshore, released their super-popular Sore Thumb double IPA YESTERDAY!

Sticky, resinous, delicious!

Sadly, I couldn't get there but if someone would like to barter a 4-pack, I'm yer zombie!

Spider Bite Brewing Company, Holbrook, NY

Open Wide! a double IPA, brewed to commemorate the tasting room's expansion, is hazy, dank, loaded with sticky pine and is dangerously drinkable.  Like most of Larry's line-up, it hides the ABV well.  The can release is THIS Saturday, April 22, starting at 11am.

Tragically, this is the same day as Blue Point Brewery's Cask Fest so some planning is in order.

Mug Club members, however, can buy their case TODAY! (I, however, got mine yesterday.  Don't ask.  The first rule of Mug Club...)

Blue Point Beer Co. FB

Blue Point Brewing Company, Patchogue, NY

Long a bastion of craft beer geekery, their recent acquisition by A-B seems to have done nothing to diminish the quality of their brews.  In fact, some of their new stuff is downright crushable! (to borrow a Niko-ism)

Enter Hazy Bastard.  

I managed a sneak taste (again, don't ask how) and found it to be delicious, solid and on par with the other, heavy hitting double IPAs.

You can get yours THIS SUNDAY, April 24th, at the brewery.  11am - 2pm.  Stumble in bathed in your post coital Cask Fest glow and get you some!


Get out there, Long Island craft beer geeks!  Score the trifecta. Get yer mitts on some juicy cans!

Cheers!

BJ

New England style IPA!

My first foray into the realm of the much-heralded "New England Style IPA"!  (or is it?)

Cramming juicy, hoppy goodness into each pint, these beers are meant to be cloudy.  So much so that brewers (allegedly) use additives to create that murky look.  I dunno.  Call me crazy but when I was home brewing we busted our nuts to get the clearest fucking beer possible.

A hazy batch resulted in more Irish moss, heavy whirlpooling (which sounds dirty) and sacrificing a gallon in the kettle during transfer to make sure all that shmegma stayed in there.

But now, this is a thing.  OK.  Whatever.  MY FIRST FORAY INTO THE REALM OF... oh wait, I said that already.  Ahem.  Let us continue.  Perhaps, it really was not my first exposure to the now, super-hip New England/Vermont Style IPA!

I have had Heady Topper, which I thought was really, really good.  But not sell-you-left-nut good.  If I'm up in new England and it's as easy to get as a six of Pabst, I'll drink the hell out of it.  But I'm not bending over for it.  I've also had Sip of Sunshine.  Also pretty tasty though much less impressive (for me) than Heady. I bring these up because, well, apparently they're "New England Style" IPAs (though, on Ratebeer.com, they're both simply listed as Imperial IPAs.  (Perhaps this NEIPA nomenclature wasn't in effect at the time those beers entered the database?)

Equilibrium's Fractal Citra is, allegedly, of this mold.

Yes, it's turbid as fuck and has some lemony notes both in the nose and on the palate.  But it feels too "light" for me.  At 6.8% ABV it's close to my beloved Union jack (7.5%) so I shouldn't be missing the alcohol.  Maybe it's the hop profile and it's just too bright?  (I do tend to favor dank, cat-pissy IPAs.)

The RateBeer.com description lists mango, lychee, pineapple and passion fruit.  That guy must have a scalpel of a palate because all I get is lemon.  Lemon rind.  OK, maybe some mango.  But what the fuck does a lychee taste like?  Is that as easily recounted into one's taste memory as, say, ketchup?  Lychee my ass.  But I digress.

It's not a bad beer but it's not for me.  I'm missing layers of darkness, dankness and futility.  Oh wait. We're talking about beer and not my soul.

It needs to be funkier because I like getting slapped around when I drink.

We're having this with tacos later, which is good because the Scorned Woman hot sauce and chopped habaneros should provide the kick I'm missing in this beer.

Snow Day Beer

Got up this morning to find some mild accumulation. Actually considered going in to work (whether or not my co-workers believe me).

(They don't.)

Watched News 12 and promptly changed my mind.

Looks like it's a day of reading and movies for us!  But, of paramount importance, is the need to select a great, snow day beer!

Though I love hops, stouts and porters get my vote on days like today.  The heavier mouthfeel (heheh) makes it feel like you're drinking a meal and the higher ABV load that usually accompanies the styles of porters and stouts I like (Imperial all the way, baby!) has an extremely pleasant, warming, nap-inducing  effect.

Greenport Harbor Brewing Company's Black Duck Porter is an awesome brew but, at 4.7% ABV is a bit... light... for my purposes.  (Besides, I'm setting it aside for a friend.)  DuClaw's Sweet Baby Jesus (currently Jackie's favorite) does better at 6.2% but is also a bit too sweet for my tastes.

Waddling into my cellar, I sift through my collection bypassing Black Ops (of which I have too many) and Southampton RIS (of which I have too few).  There are also other, big-hitting beers that are potential dance partners:  Firestone Walker Sucuba, Parabola, various Anniversary Ales) but the one that catches my eye is Bourbon County's Barleywine.



Never you mind that they're bought out by A-B, you preening craft beer hipsters!  Their shit still tastes great!

This is the 2014 vintage and, at 12.3% ABV, should straddle the line of just smacking me around and knocking-me-the-fuck-out.

I don't think I've had a barleywine in years but I do remember with some fondess the toffee and deep raisin-like notes.

(tasting notes to follow)



It's days like today that make keeping a beer cellar, even a small one, a great idea.  Not only can you periodically dip into it and sample how a particular beer has evolved over the months (or even years) but you'll always have a little stash for when foul weather hits.

Forget the bread, milk and eggs!  Make sure your shelves are loaded with enough stouts, big porters and barleywines to see you through!

Patchogue Chili and Chowder Fest

Imagine Alive After Five but without the assholey Yo-Bros.

The usual preponderance of food trucks (which were killing it, by the way), family-friendly activities (bouncy house, face-painting, balloon animals and parade) and slew of festival tchotchke booths (candles, jewelry, financial institutions, cigar dude).  Beautiful day, to boot.

Basically, you show up and buy tickets from the Chamber of Commerce booth.  $10 for 20 chili/chowder tickets.  Another $10 for the beer tasting tickets (about 10).  At first, I thought there was no way I would be getting my money's worth.  But after hitting several joints on the west end of Main, I was already feeling bloated. (So much so that, at the end of the day, I gave away the remainder of my tickets to some friendly-looking folks).

Also, I hate pumpkin beers so I should have passed on the tasting ticket.  Everything (and The Rock means everything) was some pumpkin derivative.  Well, with the exception of a cider offering which I don't dig either.  The point is, if you're NOT into pumpkin beers, skip the beer option (words I thought I would never utter).

Upon purchasing said tickets you are also given a pamphlet indicating which restos are participating, which have chowder, which have chili (which have both) and which have beer offerings.

We started at the Tap Room.  You go in and give the bartender your food ticket (and beer ticket) and she brings you both.  This seems to be how it worked throughout: enter an establishment (a smart strategy as you felt compelled to linger, maybe have an app or a full-sized beer and, at the very least, were introduced to the interior of a place you may not have visited before) in order to get your sample.

I was skeptical at the onset but the samples are more than sufficient for you to form an reasonable opinion about the chili or chowder and, after maybe 6 or 8, you are feeling quite full.

All the offerings were good.  Few were standouts. That Meetball Place's chowder and Del Fuego's chili won for me.

Overall, a good time.  BUT... there were some negatives.

Some places ran out of chili and / or chowder.  Cheese Patch was one. A SINGLE CROCKPOT OF CHILI?  When you know that hundreds (if not a couple of thousand) people may be descending upon your little' burg?  As the kids say these days, "Really?"

Public House 49.  What. The. Fuck?

TWO bartenders on.  Yes, it was a busy day but NO your joint was not particularly crowded.  I waited at the south end of the bar with my pals for one of you to come by and fill the tasting glasses but it seemed like you were more focused on the customers who were paying full boat.  Understandable but really uncool.  I mean, how long does it take to fill a measly 3 oz. tasting glass?  Or to bring us some chili?

One bartender (forced to interact IMO) said more chili was coming out.  A tray shortly made an appearance with only two sample cups. TWO. (Did you run  out also?) Which were given to patrons at the north end of the bar.  We got he feeling the south end was being ignored.    A group of 6 or so, weary from being ignored, left.  We soon followed suit.  Jon Taffer would be aghast.

In a nutshell:

If you're a patron:

GO.  Skip the drink tickets unless you're really into pumpkin beers or are just getting into the craft beer scene.  If you're not into craft or if you ARE into craft but don't like pumpkins (like me), skip it.

Go early.  Hit the places quickly.  It seems that they run out and, as the day winds on, the lines get long.  Plan on tasting what you want then settle in for a few pints and your favorite resto.

If you're a restaurant:

DO. NOT. RUN. OUT. OF CHILI.
Do not ignore festival goers.
Manage your lines.

I'll be back next year.  But no beer tickets for me.  And I may skip Public 49 altogether.

PROTON!

Headed to Moustache brewing Company this past Saturday.  The plan was to shoot the breeze with other beer geeks and grab a 4-pack of Proton, a juicy double IPA and their first canned release.

As I waited on line, I witnessed many people leaving with their allowed case.  My competitive nature got the better of me.

Proton is the first in their Atomic Series and features Simcoe, Azacca and Lemon Drop hops.

At 8.5% ABV it's considered a double but this is where I vacillate a bit.  I mean, I drink a shit ton of Firestone Walker Union Jack which they call an IPA but clocks in at 7.5%

Is the difference between a "single" IPA and a "double" really only 1%?

Whatever.

Moustache has a fine history of making kick-ass IPAs (Sailor Mouth being my current favorite) so I really looked forward to having this.

They had this on tap but sipping it from a little 10oz. plastic cup seemed to do it a disservice. I couldn't wait to try it at home.


Once safely ensconced in my lair, I poured it into a Sam Adams, 1/2 liter Oktoberfest mug.  Why? Because it held the entire thing in one pour, that's why!

Don't be a glassware Nazi.

It pours a dark hay with a decent, pillowy head.

Much piney resin in the nose.  Maybe a tad marmaladey.  Nicely dank, skuny, skanky and funky!  My favorite type of unbalanced, hop-forward bravado!

Now, I know you all are beer geeks like me so I'm not going to wade into all the crap about IBUs and the malt bill or any of that.  Suffice it to say:

If you like IPAs, you will like this beer.


Get out there and get you some!  There might be a few left!

Cheers!

Beer Therapy (and not what you think...)

So, my day was pretty shitty.

In a nutshell: some asshole supervisor (thankfully not mine but someone in a parallel position to my own boss) decides to pull some passive-aggressive bullshit.  It steams me and ruins my mood for the day. I am off-kilter from the moment the workday starts.

I am then stuck doing specialty exams for the entire day. Exams that, by their nature, offer a unique form of aggravation and hemorrhoidal irritation.  They are non-stop and I feel I've been ridden hard and put away wet (and not in a good way).

I need beer therapy.

After walking my dog (which helps a little), I stop off @BellportBeer (my favorite distro) for some liquid salvation.  Upon entering Dave gives me the usual hearty salutation, pauses and then says,

"What's the matter?  You look..."
"On edge?" I finish.

It's as if  an expert psychotherapist, a seasoned bartender and AC/DC's Brian Johnson had a torrid three-way and produced Dave as their love child.

He lets me bitch and rant and drop Eff Bombs while adding his own criticisms about the devolution of the English language (we briefly ponder the etymology of "Not fer nuthin'!") and a decidely pro- Y-Chromo stance on why arguing with women is useless (I agree).  I rage and stalk the aisles as he fills my growler.

I pay and prepare to leave with my haul (growler of @FirestonWalker #UnionJack, @stbcbeer Unearthly bombah, and @dogfishbeer Palo Santo Marron) Dave says something like,

"There!  Now you feel much better, don't you?"

It was true.  I got a happy ending and it didn't even involve a Thai masseuse.

All this to say that people like Dave, members of your community, owners of stores and shops and restos that you go to on a regular basis, are invaluable.  Yes, they sell you the shit you need and want but, if you're a regular, they also know when your mojo is askew and how, almost precisely, to right the ship.

If you don't have a Cheers- like thing going for you, if there isn't a place where everybody knows you name, start making one.  Whether it's a barber, bartender, barista, or a Bellport Dave, you need them more than you know...